The theme of this year’s New York Encounter resonated with me right away. These past couple of weeks for me have been a calling to start again with relationships, friendships, work, and other aspects of life. Going into the weekend, I had many questions about longing and desiring more in day-to-day situations in life.

In going to this year’s Encounter, I noticed that the theme of "Something to Start From" was integrated into the entire conference. Every talk I attended ended with this question, "Where do we start and how do we move forward?” These are the exact questions I have been wrestling with for months and I knew the answers were less than simple.

During the conference, it became very apparent to me that the circumstances of life do not determine our joy and relationship with Christ. There are no prerequisites and no situations He does not want to enter. I was shocked as I sat through talks about Sandy Hook where a mother and teacher were so honest and hopeful about their experience. They had no words to explain those events and no way to avoid the raw pain. What they did have were small ways to begin to trust again and begin to see the good in a tragic situation.

The tension I feel right now in my life leads me to desire more in my work and in my relationships even though there is not a clear path through or a way out. It would be easy to move on to the next thing as a way to “fix” my situation and my problems. It would be easy to say, “If I had a different boss, or more friends, or a less complex family, then I would be able to live joy and happiness more easily.” The reality is that the problem is me not seeing the gift of the people and situations currently in my life. The easy and ultimately the less-fulling way of life is for me to change my circumstances to fit my comfort.

In stark contrast, I sat through talks about Chiara Corbella and Sandy Hook and I realized that nothing was too comfortable or easy about these situations. The tragedy and complexity of these circumstances were the exact points where people encountered Christ.

So, where does this leave me? What does this mean for me?

The day I got back from the Encounter, my coworker confronted me and attacked my actions from the past few months at work. I had no idea she felt this way and was caught off guard. She was not interested in repairing this damage and, regardless of my vulnerability, she was unwilling to change or offer suggests for a new way we could work together. This situation really hit me hard and felt very personal.

My gut reaction was to cast this person off and find ways to avoid her at all cost. However, I knew that was not sustainable. There was something for me there. Christ is was there.

How can I say this with certainty? Because I saw it this weekend at the Encounter. In the talks people didn’t avoid the hard facts and hard situations they faced, they looked at them head on and asked, “What is here for me? Where am I being loved through this?”

Although this situation at work is not clear, I approach it with a new hope. I ask myself, “What is here for me?” following many of the speakers at the Encounter who could only see this answer by being open to a new beginning and seeing the reality of their circumstances in every moment.

So, my only answer is to come into the office every day and treat this coworker with love and compassion, to take her feelings into consideration, and address her with dignity. Then, I hope that something changes within me and within her.

Brooke, Kansas, USA