For the 2018 Family Vacation in the Lower Midwest we had a variety of moments when friends could share questions that they have been asking together. By sticking together and by not abandoning what was striking to us, we found ourselves in a new place, in front of new possibilities of living with others in mind. Personally, I worked with a few others on what we found to be striking about Jean Vanier.

A number of people in our region had heard of Vanier and his L’Arche communities from others at the New York Encounter or other friends beyond our region. So, we had found a common topic, a common person who was relevant and worth considering.

As we prepared for the vacation, there were a few exceptionally helpful pieces of advice that we received. Davide, one who had a key role in planning the 2018 vacation, asked us to consider what we found to be interesting. He told us to let what we found to pass through our experience. This first piece was a reminder that we come to the vacation to see how to live better all the time (while at home, at work, on vacation, etc.). Another piece of advice was from my friend Hannah. She shared that it is reasonable for me to stay with others while verifying what is helpful and how to see better the way to live what we’ve met. I tend to work solo and only after lots of deliberation think to share what I am looking at with others. Or, I fail to share things all together because I suspect I will face some form of rejection, or, silence. So, I needed someone to point this out to me! Then, from all in our conversation, I found that the comments and attention we gave each other was as a whole a means for giving advice. It became more and more reasonable to seek each other out. In so doing, none of us supposed one or any of us already knew the answer(s) we’d each come to. We were there to discover a new way of being and looking at life together. All three of these pieces that came together for me I hope never to forget in my daily living.

As far as the content of the presentation itself, we each had our own question when we began. Our questions, seemingly (initially) unrelated continually converged on the person and life of Jean Vanier. The main reason I believe it happened this way was because we are living different circumstances. For some of us, we are living parenthood and marriage with a career in teaching. Others are raising older children without work outside the home, and one is expectantly waiting for a child to arrive. Education was the theme of the vacation, and we were interested in better understanding that, too, but our engagement with Vanier’s witness and writings helped us frame our consciousness of what education is. With Vanier, we noticed about becoming more human means embracing weakness, not success, and this was shown in the variety of our experiences shared at the vacation.

We gave a brief bio about Vanier and each of us presented just a few minutes about what our eventual questions brought us to see. Some of the highlights had to do with whether or not we are seeking education for ourselves as adults. Also, do we communicate that we love our children or students when they do not behave as they ought? Is our affection conditional, and if so, how do we proceed? Do we actually love others, or do we defer to Christ, saying not, “I love you,” but “God loves you”?

For me as a mother and working for our parish in Evansville, Indiana, the presentation was a sort of starting point, not an end. I do not seek others out often enough to consider the questions I have. I do not adequately communicate my desire for unity in community. Even with the longing that does not ever go away, Vanier’s proposal that we can love life and people as they are, remains a striking contradiction to a life and culture which says numbing or attempting to ignore the heart’s needs is the way to go.

Evidently, our difficulty is a door into deeper relationship, not a wall with nothing on the other side. We can see for ourselves that with help, that is no less than divine in the flesh, we can face whatever comes.

Julie, Indiana, USA