While I was sitting at dinner on the last evening of the Spiritual Exercises, Giacomo came over to my table to say that he and I were wanted for a meeting about the vacation with John and Vittorio. As I followed him to the meeting room, I was a little confused and thought that there was a mistake. Why was I asked? I had been to no other such meetings. I was not at last year’s vacation or any Canadian family vacation for that matter. I just could not imagine what I would possibly contribute to the planning process.

When we got there, the meeting had already started. Pretty soon, I forgot my concerns. I was surprised by the enthusiasm with which the group--made up of people from different cities and of different ages and life circumstances--shared initial ideas for the various events of the vacation. The thing that struck me the most, however, and the reason I left the meeting excited and feeling lucky to have been there at all, was that everyone was still so happy about the last vacation which took place almost one year ago. I was actually a little jealous, too, and hopeful that I could also be so visibly changed by a vacation.

The next meeting was a Google Hangout the following week. One by one, people described the beginning of their personal work on the content of the Exercises. I found this beautiful, thinking about the vacation just a few weeks away starting from the provocation of the Exercises and trusting that the details would follow.

I tend to think that to contribute to such conversations, I have to have clearly formulated, insightful questions based on something that I have already understood from the text. This never really gets me anywhere. So, when the others referred to difficulties they had or said things as simple as, “I don’t really believe this thing that Carrón said, but I want to,” and, “I hope that the vacation will be an opportunity to experience this,” it was liberating. It helped me to start looking at the things I desire, rather than worry about what I think I should have understood.

After each meeting, I was eager to speak with Benjamin about it and about what the vacation could mean for us. For me, this is a far cry from being preoccupied with having to give up my evenings at a time when I am very busy at work, which at the beginning is what I assumed would be my main concern.

I don’t have a task or the responsibility to contribute to any particular event at the vacation. But Vittorio had asked us to read and contribute to the Trello board, so I logged on anyway at the very last minute before one of the meetings. Reading the contributions on it over the next few days was a real surprise. People suggested events, themes, and gave real, personal reasons. One of Marco's contributions starts, "Lately, I find myself numb in front of my everyday life." When I read it (and the other notes), I was taken aback by his honesty and by the realization that I would have been too afraid to be so open. But why? I understood from these comments that thinking and writing, however briefly, about a theme for the vacation had been an opportunity for people to go deeper into what we heard at the Exercises and what it could mean for their lives. I started to work and write a little on the Trello board because I wanted that for myself too.

I was not unenthusiastic about the family vacation but I had honestly not given it much thought before these meetings. I would have more or less showed up. But my small family was given this opportunity to hope more and to desire more--from this vacation and from our daily life--and for this, I am grateful.

Maria, Montréal, Canada