My fraternity got together this weekend, and I am continually struck by the way we stay together­­, even though we are spread out geographically throughout the US. This is beautiful, because less than a year ago, I had never met most of the others. Our “yes” has proven to be a powerful witness.

When I joined the fraternity in October, I was grappling with a certain question: “Is this it?” I had seemingly gotten everything I had wanted in business and life, but I had a nagging dissatisfaction. This wasn’t it. I knew I needed “more”, ­­whatever that meant. I understood then in October that I needed to look at my lack of vocation much more seriously.

In the past, my need for more was always a dangerous thing. The dissatisfaction I felt as an atheist was insatiable, and it caused me to grasp for things that were not good for me. Through my fraternity, I have come to understand this need in a better way.
We had our first vacation together as a fraternity in August. I knew I would be meeting people I had never met before­­and, and I was afraid of not belonging. I was also asking the question: “What do these people, these 'strangers' have to do with my life? With my vocation?” I was forced to start begging ­­and, when I got to the airport, all of my anxiety was gone. I didn’t always have a sense of belonging that weekend, but I experienced a love for these people that was totally given—it grew all weekend and continues to grow. As I was packing my bag to leave, a strong sadness came over me. It wasn’t the usual sadness; ­­the sadness of leaving friends to go back to work and “real life”. No, it was a deep longing for more.

We stay together in a beautiful way. When we get together, we share pictures for those who are not in the area. We keep each other informed of the major events in our lives through emails, getting together, and phone calls. But for me, there is something deeper happening. Ever since I left the vacation, I have been moved to pray for all of these people every day in different ways. I will remember someone’s face, or story, or personality quirk, and I will be moved to pray for them. Moved with love.

I am grateful for this movement that is happening in my heart. I am grateful to experience love in this way. And, even if my vocation is not yet realized, I derive some satisfaction by the call to prayer and my response to it; ­­to live more intensely by praying for these faces.