I was trying to put my experience into words but I just couldn’t until I heard a podcast today about St. Francis of Assisi. In the podcast it described how after Francis’s conversion, it wasn't that everything became easy and life was solved, but reality became more and more something given, instead of something to get over. I began to smile when I heard this because it explained what I discovered on the GS vacation. It was my last GS vacation and in the first days I felt that I was too old to be there, people were having beautiful experiences that I was having too but they weren’t sustaining me like they were for the "first time" kids; I was always wanting more. I kept waiting to get over the inadequacy I was feeling, like I wanted to want less from everything. But as the days went on I began to realize that because of my huge desire, I was seeing more in everything. I had a heart made of flesh instead of stone, I was actually alive. I thought to myself, “this huge desire is what makes me see more, because my eyes are open to everything.” Maybe it seems simple, but this experience for me is crucial, because for the past year I have been fighting the fact that my desire for fullness of life is always growing, but now I see that I never want to "get over” or silence my desire, because this desire is what is given to me to meet Jesus here and now. Only He has given a promise of an answer to it that never gets old—and for this I am forever grateful.